All narcissists create a fake self because they want to hide their true self. The parent actually needs family members to help them make the fake self believable. Even though destruction of the family is not the intent of the narcissistic parent, it is inevitable because the family members are used so abusively.
People with this condition can stoop to any level to guard their narcissistic behavior by emotionally or even sometimes physically abusing loved ones. Narcissistic abuse has inflicted a lot of pain on families today—many people have come from households where this form of abuse has been caused by parents or siblings.
A narcissist views their family as a “status symbol” that can be used for their own benefit. Within a narcissistic family structure, the narcissistic individual dominates over other members, reigning control and influencing the roles that each family member is given.
The children of a narcissist are divided into two categories: the golden one and the others. There really is no rhyme or reason the narcissist singles out one child over the other. It can be because of personality similarities, a willingness to admire the parent unconditionally, the same gender or similar interests.
One of the first things a narcissist does it isolate you from family and friends. They want you to be completely dependent on them and eliminate any support system you have in place.
Manipulative narcissists can turn people against you by bringing one or more additional people into an argument, spat, or disagreement that was originally just between you and the narcissist.
[8] point out that NPD patients are at high risk for completed suicides or highly lethal attempts without warning signs or self-disclosures. Indeed, they are made with the intention to end their lives.
Narcissism tends to emerge as a psychological defence in response to excessive levels of parental criticism, abuse or neglect in early life. Narcissistic personalities tend to be formed by emotional injury as a result of overwhelming shame, loss or deprivation during childhood.
In the dysfunctional narcissistic family system, the golden child is the most likely to develop a narcissistic personality.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder may develop due to early trauma or family influences that can leave a person emotionally stuck at a young age. Adult narcissists use sophisticated versions of childlike responses. When seen in this light, the often mystifying and maddening actions of narcissists begin to make sense.
It is because of this that they may find it difficult to understand other people's feelings or perspectives, a self-centredness that can cause them to act selfishly and exploit others for their own gain. “As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey.
Monopolizing conversations; demanding constant attention. Disrespecting boundaries; feeling entitled that they needn't comply with others' wishes. Betraying confidence. Launching “campaigns” against others: making themselves look perfect and their sibling look like the “crazy” one.
They don't want you to know who you are, what you think, and feel. A narcissist must destroy or come in between you and your perception of self. They have to wiggle themselves in between you. In that space, they don't want you looking within anymore; they want you to focus solely on them.
The child reminds the narcissist of their childhood and what they could have been if they had not been wounded by their parents. The narcissist parent's envy can lead to abusive behaviour, including withholding love and approval, verbal abuse, and even physical abuse.
Narcissists are known for their lack of empathy, which impacts all their relationships, including those with their mothers. They are often dismissive, neglectful, or manipulative, using their mother to fulfill their own needs without considering her feelings.
A golden child's sense of self and their personal boundaries are erased, as their own sense of identity is replaced with the need to live up to their role. Their behaviors and beliefs reflect what their parent expects of them, and they may feel incapable of individuation even in adulthood.
When you're in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, it can trigger mind and body trauma, including low self-esteem, panic attacks, and mental illnesses like anxiety and depression. The behaviors of a narcissistic parent are considered child abuse.
They play favorites.
Narcissistic parents maintain their power by triangulating, or playing favorites. They may have a golden child who they compliment excessively, for example, while speaking badly about another child in the family.
According to Thomaes & Brummelman, the development of narcissism begins at around the ages of 7 or 8.
Narcissistic personality disorder affects more males than females, and it often begins in the teens or early adulthood. Some children may show traits of narcissism, but this is often typical for their age and doesn't mean they'll go on to develop narcissistic personality disorder.
Most recent theories have focused on the link between narcissism and negative childhood experiences, such as physical or sexual violence, neglect, or rejection [10,11].
Not all narcissists resort to physical abuse, some never escalate beyond intimidation. Not all physical abusers are narcissists, some have other mental illnesses. But a narcissistic physical abuser is not someone to take lightly. No matter what they say, you cannot make them better.
Inevitably, because all their energy is invested in maintaining and fueling their grandiose and entitled self-image, their relationships derail and their capacity for psychological growth is stunted. Its pathological extreme can lead to various forms of violence, such as stalking, battering, or murder.
Narcissists Will Eventually End Up Friendless and Unpopular, Study Confirms. Scientists have found that narcissistic people fail to retain their friends despite being initially popular.