While it is highly unlikely that a narcissist would ever be truly trauma bonded in a relationship, it is not impossible.
Two narcissists together may actually enjoy each other's company, as they will have so much in common, whereas other people may find them shallow and difficult to maintain a friendship or relationship with.
A "trauma bond" is an attachment formed between two people who unconsciously bond to each other based on shared trauma. Traumatic bonds are typically established in abusive childhoods and are learned as a product of intermittent positive and negative reinforcement.
Narcissist couples aren't really able to provide love and affection to each other. They might seem to be doing so in the beginning, but soon everyone is clear on what their roles are. The narcissist demands and their partner provides. They don't have an interest in their spouse's feelings, needs, and interests.
So how do a pair of narcissists get along? You might think that a group of narcissists would be constantly competing with each other for attention. But it seems that those who are narcissistic are more tolerant of narcissistic behaviors in their friends -- and may also reinforce this behavior in each other.
Emotional reactions
So when they encounter a piece of information about narcissism they immediately might feel exposed, ashamed, betrayed, or attacked. Moreover, they often take things very personally and think that everything is about them.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
Previous research hinted that such a relationship might exist, but this study provides the most compelling evidence yet that narcissists do indeed flock together. “We confirmed our hypothesis of assortative mating for narcissism which is consistent with previous findings,” state the researchers.
Although even narcissists are put off by negative self-centered qualities, research shows they are more tolerant of each other.
It's also common for two covert narcissists in a relationship to become very attached because they share similar traits. They may not know they're narcissists but are attracted to each other's self-absorption and status anxiety. But falling in love and staying in love are different things.
Trauma bonding occurs when a person experiencing abuse develops an unhealthy attachment to their abuser. They may rationalize or defend the abusive actions, feel a sense of loyalty, isolate from others, and hope that the abuser's behavior will change.
While it may seem nearly impossible to exit a situation where a trauma bond is present, there is hope with the proper support and healthy boundaries. Individuals who find themselves in a toxic relationship can break a trauma bond and lead healthy lives with healthy relationships.
Survivors and perpetrators of domestic abuse will often form trauma bonds whereby they both become emotionally hooked into the relationship – this can make it extremely difficult for the survivor to unlock herself and escape from the abuse.
Let's start with the question on whether a narcissist can make you a narcissist and the answer to that is no. You don't become a narcissist because you have been around one. A narcissist, when considered in the diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, is a personality disorder.
Typically, people who stay in relationships with narcissists are kind and forgiving. They tend to overlook the bad, seeing mainly the good in other people. So, they will always find excuses for a narcissist's abusive behavior.
According to Julie L. Hall, author of “The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free,” narcissists become more extreme versions of their worst selves as they age, which includes becoming more desperate, deluded, paranoid, angry, abusive, and isolated.
The relationship cycle typical of extreme narcissistic abuse generally follows a pattern. Individuals in emotionally abusive relationships experience a dizzying whirlwind that includes three stages: idealization, devaluing, and discarding.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
Narcissists are fully aware that they are narcissistic and have a reputation as such. Narcissists would rather be admired than liked. Narcissists are masters at making first impressions, leading them to do better with short-term relationships.
The findings suggest, as the authors conclude, that “Similar narcissistic friends might help each other to achieve such a rapport by respecting the same life strategy, avoiding conflicts, sharing the same mating behavior and preferences for competition, and displaying the same non-caring attitudes” (p. 378).
Narcissists prefer the romantic company of other narcissists, according to new research published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences.
People who are impressive in some way, either in their career, hobbies and talents, their friendship circles, or family. Someone who will make the narcissist feel good about themselves, through compliments or gestures. Anyone who will reflect well on them in the eyes of other people.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".