Many relationships can recover from taking a break and actually turn out to be stronger than before, but that is not always the case. If you and your partner are unable to set clear boundaries and rules in the beginning, or are unable to stick to those things during the break, then your relationship might not make it.
According to new research, almost 50 percent of couples break up, and then get back together again. Yeah, that's a little messy, but there are upsides to splitting up before settling down for the long haul, according to Sheri Meyers, PsyD, author of Chatting or Cheating.
Anything from one week to a month should be enough time for one or both parties to determine whether they should stay together. “You may decide halfway through the agreed upon time that you want to be with that person, but you should respect the time frame,” Edwards says.
One study found that only 10 percent of couples living together reunite after separating, and only 33 percent of those who do reunite will stay together. Interestingly, women who are more educated are less likely to get back together with a partner they've separated from.
"A break could be any length of time, but past a point, it becomes a 'breakup,'" says Dr. Steinberg. "If you don't want it to be considered a 'breakup,' then the break shouldn't be more than a season, or three months long."
According to much research, about 40 to 50 percent of couples get back together after a breakup. While this is positive, many factors determine the chances of getting back together after a breakup. To begin with, most people get back together with their ex because they still harbor some feelings for them.
In the most fundamental sense, taking a break means that you and your partner haven't officially broken up, but you've decided to take some time off from each other and your relationship. It's also key to keep in mind that taking a break doesn't have to equal a breakup.
For same-sex married couples, the break-up rate falls from roughly 8 percent for those who have been together for 5 years to under 1 percent for those who have been together for at least 20 years. For heterosexual married couples, the rate falls from a shade over 3 percent to less than 1 percent over the same period.
Don't: Communicate During a Break
And in turn, it's natural to keep going back to this person. But you need this break to clear your mind and reflect. Having regular communication or even checking in with your partner will only muddy things up.
You could clear away your emotional cache, rearrange your expectations, and take a break in order to rekindle your spark. This is easier dreamed of than executed, of course. Because relationships are beautifully complex, and the issues within them take time and effort to mend. Perhaps even a stretch of distance.
Tell each other everything you did when the two of you were apart. Share your feelings about the break and how much you've grown as a person.” To get back together after a break naturally, have a smooth conversation where nothing is forced. Don't force them to share things they did during the relationship break.
Is it okay to communicate during a break? In general, if you have decided to take a break in your relationship, it might be a good idea not to communicate when you are apart from your mate. The only reason you should communicate is if you need to talk about the care of your children.
"If you and your partner are taking a break from the relationship, it should be exactly that — a break," she explains. Going no contact might sound vindictive or rude, but it's really the best way to embrace your time apart, which is the whole purpose of the break.
Research by psychologists and sociologists suggest that a relationship can be strengthened by time spent apart – whether literally/physically or figuratively.
Here's What Marriage Experts Say. Yes, it's possible to get back together after taking a break -- but first you need to establish ground rules. Timeouts in relationships only work if partners mutually agree on ground rules, experts say.
How long should your break be? 15 to 20 minutes is the ideal length, but you can take longer at lunch. If taking a break is so important, then the length of that break is important, too.
Serious breakup texts
Here are some breakup text examples for a serious breakup. You feel so far away from me these days. I know that I'm losing you and I can't stay around to watch us slowly fall apart. We've both tried our hardest to make it work, but now it's time to say goodbye.
Once you've ended things, it's better to wait a few days before reaching out with your platonic olive branch. Giving your ex some time to come to terms with the state of your relationship shows that you respect their needs and feelings.
One of the major signs you should not break up is if it's hard to picture your life without them. There will always be ups and downs in a long-term relationship, but you know it's worth it if you see them as your future. “Thoughts of a future without your partner [will] feel empty and bleak,” explains Winter.
Coan advises every couple to adhere to the 70/30 rule: For the happiest, most harmonious relationship, the pro suggests spending 70% of time together, and 30% apart. That gives each of you enough freedom to explore your own interests while still being rooted and invested in your relationship.
A relationship break means actively creating the space to step out of the complexity and friction. It gives you time to sort through your own set of mixed emotions. The truth of the matter is that if you have reached this place, then there are there are serious issues causing antagonism and frustration.