Starting a Romantic Relationship Furthermore, many people who have been in a romantic relationship with someone with BPD describe their partner as fun, exciting, and passionate. Many people are initially drawn to people with BPD precisely because they have intense emotions and a strong desire for intimacy.
Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem. People who take their power from being a victim, or seek excitement in others because their own life is not where they want it to be.
Something like this can happen in those suffering from personality disorders: two people (with different, almost opposite disorders) can feel attracted because of their contrasting characteristics, in a sort of dance balanced by the complementarity of dispositions and roles.
Those with borderline personality disorder have problems regulating emotional impulses and often experience rocky relationships. But new research suggests that many men find traits associated with borderline personality disorder to be appealing in physically attractive women.
The fragility of a BPD woman can also plug into a man's hero complex. Her constant need for reassurance and support can exaggerate an insecure person's sense of importance. In fact, it's not uncommon for narcissistic men to gravitate to BPD women, because each disorder serves the other, says Freed.
Starting a Romantic Relationship
Furthermore, many people who have been in a romantic relationship with someone with BPD describe their partner as fun, exciting, and passionate. Many people are initially drawn to people with BPD precisely because they have intense emotions and a strong desire for intimacy.
What does borderlines are seductive mean? They're easily seduced by the borderline's extreme openness, charm, and vulnerability. In addition, the borderline's passion and intense emotions are enlivening to non-BPDs, who find being alone depressing or “healthy” people boring.
A romantic relationship with someone with BPD can be, in a word, stormy. It's not uncommon to experience a great deal of turmoil and dysfunction. However, people with BPD can be exceptionally caring, compassionate, and affectionate. In fact, some people find this level of devotion from a partner pleasant.
Conclusions: Our results suggest a relatively high prevalence of BDD among patients with BPD, and co-occurrence of BDD and BPD remains to be clarified.
“One of the biggest and most challenging aspects of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is often 'The Chameleon Effect' – or 'mirroring'. This is the constant, unconscious change in the person's 'self', as they struggle to fit in with their environment, or the people around them.
Anyone living with BPD can still lead satisfying lives and take pleasure in long-term relationships and even life partnerships. With the proper treatment and support, people with BPD can and do have healthy and happy relationships.
When BPD and NPD co-occur, someone is likely to have a specific subtype of NPD known as covert, or vulnerable, narcissism. People with this type of narcissism are extremely sensitive to criticism and rejection and may feel distrustful of others.
The Science of Falling in Love
Affection – People with BPD are either extremely affectionate or withdrawn, which may be confusing for those who don't have the disorder. Abandonment – Lots of people are scared that their partner isn't happy; but when you have BPD, you may be in constant worry that they will leave.
They are often criticized, marginalized and stigmatized, but the truth is that they deserve love and understanding like anyone else. BPD, or borderline personality disorder, is a psychological diagnosis that indicates a person has difficulty regulating their emotions.
But there is another quality displayed by many borderline individuals that is often left out of the diagnostic picture: individuals with borderline personality disorders can also love intensely, although somewhat erratically and egocentrically.
Romantic fantasization is a common feature of borderline personality disorder (BPD). The unpredictable emotional state associated with borderline personality disorder can cause confusing fluctuations in how borderlines view their romantic partners.
Once the initial breakup has happened, it's not uncommon for the situation to become much more volatile in some cases. There can be more consistent triggers, gaslighting attempts, manipulation and emotional outbursts. BPD relationships will always work in some form of cycle.
As a symptom
Some people with borderline personality disorder (sometimes referred to as BPD) can be markedly impulsive, seductive, and extremely sexual. Sexual promiscuity, sexual obsessions, and hypersexuality are very common symptoms for both men and women with BPD.
Codependency in a relationship usually occurs when one of the partners has a Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). If your partner has either one of these personality disorders, you might find yourself stuck in a toxic codependent relationship.
In response to devaluation, the person with BPD may have an outburst of anger, aggression or to break up. Hence, BPD romantic relationships are often described as intense and unstable.
People with BPD score low on cognitive empathy but high on emotional empathy. This suggests that they do not easily understand other peoples' perspectives, but their own emotions are very sensitive. This is important because it could align BPD with other neurodiverse conditions.
Yet borderline personality might sometimes involve a level of idealization that resembles grandiosity. If a parent or past partner devalued you by saying you'd never amount to anything, this voice might continue to echo in your internal self-talk.
People with NPD have a sense that they are entitled to the best of everything, and they do not have to follow the rules that other people do. People with BPD outwardly exhibit feelings of abandonment, woundedness, and vulnerability. People with NPD have a tendency to exploit others.