Narcissists often view their partners as possessions rather than individuals with their desires and needs. When they see their ex with someone else, they may feel jealous that someone else is getting what they believe is rightfully theirs.
Symptoms of a narcissistic boyfriend include illusions of greatness, inability to emotionally connect with others, feeling as though he is special and unique, and strong feelings of jealousy. It is not uncommon for them to be jealous of all previous intimate relationships that their partner may have had.
For a person who is narcissistic, their self-esteem is often tied to your relationship with them. When they see that you have moved on and are now dating someone else, they will feel jealous and threatened.
But as clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula points out, narcissists often have a habit of staying in contact with their exes in a way that is solely about their own needs. "The central motivator for narcissists is validation," she explains. "And an ex is often a really interesting place to get it...
Often, the narcissist will try to cultivate friendships or acquaintanceships with people that they envy. For example, a narcissistic individual insecure about lack of financial success might strive to be surrounded with people wealthier than him or herself.
If the narcissist thinks that you're giving your attention and energy to other relationships, they can easily get jealous or protective. Make a point of spending time with other people or doing your own hobbies, and let the narcissist in your life know about it.
Narcissists get over their exes very quickly. In a survey we conducted among 300 people who experienced narcissistic abuse in a romantic relationship, we discovered that the average amount of time it took for a narcissist to get over their ex was three-and-a-half weeks.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
A narcissistic ex will show no empathy for you or the people around them. They cannot relate to your pain or see the role they played in your breakup. Their only goal is to feed their ego, and they will go to any lengths to achieve these goals. This lack of empathy can be masked by a charming personality.
By remaining friends with their exes, narcissists get to keep all of their former partners on a carousel of convenience: they can create a harem of people to use for sex, money, praise, attention or whatever else they desire, at any time.
Narcissists keep their exes around so they can have access to sex, money, praise, attention, or any other forms of narcissistic supply they desire, at any time. For a narcissist, ex partners are merely backup sources of narcissistic supply that they can use if they are unsatisfied with their current relationship.
True narcissists (people with NPD) don't usually miss their exes. What narcissists do miss, however, is the attention you gave them when you were together. They need their "narcissistic supply," someone to be a constant source of care and support.
Why are Narcissists Obsessed with Their Exes? Simply put, a narcissist will become obsessed with an ex when he or she refuses to remain “friends.” The narcissist may be very open about this obsession, dragging as many people as possible into it.
Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when they are the ones who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.
Narcissistic relationships can last anywhere from a few days or weeks to many years. There are anecdotal observations suggesting that the average length of a narcissistic relationship is around six months, but no empirical evidence supports this claim.
How Did Narcissists Feel About the Breakup? Both narcissistic admiration and narcissistic rivalry were related to feeling more anger right after the breakup. This is consistent with the tendency for narcissists to be especially hostile when they're rejected.
Narcissists rarely take breakups well, because breakups often involve some amount of rejection and acknowledgement of personal failure—two things a narcissist can't handle. They may lash out and try to blame you for everything that went wrong, or they may make extreme promises to change and beg for you to stay.
Assuming you have left or been left by your narcissistic partner, it is more than likely that they will have moved on to a new partner with breathtaking speed. Narcissists rarely have a gap between partners, and may have been grooming several potential replacements for you during your relationship.
Unless they have had a lot of successful psychotherapy for their NPD, they do not feel guilt, shame, or self-doubt so long as their narcissistic defenses hold. This means that they do not think there is anything for them to regret, no matter how hurt you feel.
It's true: Your narcissistic ex will remember you but not — never — in the way you hope they will, as the “great love of their life”. Most of the time they won't even think about you and you know why: They're too busy spinning their web to snare the next unsuspecting spider.
Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when they are the ones who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.
People who are impressive in some way, either in their career, hobbies and talents, their friendship circles, or family. Someone who will make the narcissist feel good about themselves, through compliments or gestures. Anyone who will reflect well on them in the eyes of other people.
Narcissists are hurt by challenges or threats to their superior and grandiose self-image (also known as narcissistic injury). Their sense of entitlement and lack of empathy means they will attempt to destroy the culprit by any means necessary.