Key points. Narcissists tend to focus on extrinsic motivators, like money and rewards, rather than personal growth and fulfillment. Because money and material wealth are highly important to narcissists, they often become a focal point of their relationships—sometimes resulting in financial abuse.
To narcissists, spending large amounts of money on others can be a way to get people to like them. They may be stingy in private, for example, but cover dinner for colleagues or give gifts just for show.
Some narcissists are notorious for their financial distress. These problems can happen for several reasons. First, narcissists often believe they are above the rules. In some cases, they may lie, steal, or embezzle money while fully justifying their unethical decisions.
Narcissism is characterized by grandiosity, self-aggrandizement and status-seeking, and volatile self-esteem (Morf & Rhodewalt, 2001). Narcissists are also preoccupied with their appearance (Vazire, Naumann, Rentfrow, & Gosling, 2008) and tend to be more materialistic (Lee & Seidle, 2012; Rose, 2007).
The sense of entitlement augments a narcissist's reality, and they truly believe they deserve everything they demand (Burgemeester, 2021). Some narcissists go into insane debt to keep up appearances and please themselves; other narcissists cause other people insane debt to keep them happy.
Here are some narcissism red flags to look out for: Lacking empathy. They seem unable or unwilling to have empathy for others, and they appear to have no desire for emotional intimacy. Unrealistic sense of entitlement.
In fact, greed and narcissism go hand in hand—especially in those individuals I refer to as “extreme narcissists” in my new book. They lack empathy and have a grandiose sense of self, but may fall short of the diagnostic threshold for narcissistic personality disorder.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
Some narcissists have supreme confidence in themselves, and also have the emotional intelligence — the ability to read people and to act accordingly — to nurture lasting allies. At the extreme of both, such a person could be a presidential candidate or a manipulative sociopath — or both.
Narcissists do enjoy looking at themselves in the mirror. They may spend more time grooming themselves to bolster their grandiose self-images. In this way, narcissists may be more prone to self-objectify—and identify with and to base their self-worth on their external appearance, instead of their character.
Even a little bit of money gives a narcissist a sense of power and domination over others. It starts off small with the little things like removing your name from the accounts and then grows into stealing, threats, and extortion.
Since narcissists are very interested in social status and influence, they use acts of generosity to appear noble and kind. Some examples of this are narcissists who donate their money, goods, or time.
Narcissists need constant food for their ego, so they surround themselves with people who are willing to cater to their obsessive craving for affirmation. These relationships are very one-sided. It's all about what the admirer can do for the narcissist, never the other way around.
A narcissistic parent will often abuse the normal parental role of guiding their children and being the primary decision maker in the child's life, becoming overly possessive and controlling. This possessiveness and excessive control disempowers the child; the parent sees the child simply as an extension of themselves.
Narcissism tends to emerge as a psychological defence in response to excessive levels of parental criticism, abuse or neglect in early life. Narcissistic personalities tend to be formed by emotional injury as a result of overwhelming shame, loss or deprivation during childhood.
“Grandiose narcissism appears to correlate positively with healthy self-esteem and extroversion,” Papageorgiou says. These types of narcissists tend to be very confident, which is a good thing. (A vulnerable narcissist, on the other hand, might be overly sensitive.)
Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements. Make achievements and talents seem bigger than they are. Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate. Believe they are superior to others and can only spend time with or be understood by equally special people.
They get jealous about everything
They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous.
Being Humiliated
Being at once grandiose and hypersensitive, narcissists have unrealistic expectations and are threatened by even small slights that others would easily brush off. Feeling embarrassed or humiliated is painful for anyone, but narcissists are especially reactive to those emotions.
Narcissists love attention, validation, and power. So what drives a narcissist crazy? Simply put, anything that jeopardizes their basic needs for superiority can quickly irritate them. If you want to know how to infuriate a narcissist, you can look no further than giving them nothing.
Narcissism is a serious disorder, yet the term is often overused and misapplied. Some "narcissistic" traits may actually be signs of warranted confidence and self-esteem. The tendency to see narcissism hiding everywhere can make everyday conflicts worse.
Causes of Narcissistic Rage
Need for power and control. Lacking empathy. A sense of entitlement. Being envious of others.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is one of several personality disorders. People with this condition have an inflated idea of themselves and a need for lots of attention from other people. It's human nature to be selfish and boastful now and then, but true narcissists take it to an extreme.