The personality of a gaslighter commonly involves a need to have control over others, a feeling of superiority, and a disregard for others and their feelings. Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder often use gaslighting tactics.
In addition, perpetrators of gaslighting typically suffer from mental health issues as well. They may have developed these controlling behaviors as a response to childhood trauma, or as the result of Narcissistic Personality Disorder or another psychological condition.
It's often used by people with narcissistic personality disorder, abusive individuals, cult leaders, criminals, and dictators. It's important to point out that gaslighting is a “patterned” behavior. It's intentional and designed to make you question your memories and experiences.
People with high levels of narcissism have the desire to exploit others, which is born out of their disregard for other people and their own sense of entitlement. Exploitative gaslighters use manipulation and deceit to take advantage of others for personal gain.
One of the most common reasons people gaslight is to gain power over others. This need for domination may stem from narcissism, antisocial personality, or other issues. Like most cases of abuse, gaslighting is about control. As gaslighting progresses, the target often second-guesses their own memories and thoughts.
Remember that gaslighters have fragile egos, little self-esteem, and are inherently weak. Own your own strengths, be firm in your position, and know that you have the inner resources needed to protect yourself from harm.
Gaslighting in Abuse Relationships
In many cases, the gaslighter will get defensive about their actions and claim they do it out of love. I only do it because I love you. By saying this, they're making their victim feel as if their love for the gaslighter is less than what they're receiving in return.
A gaslighter is often someone in a position of power and can range from a boss to a coworker to even a client or competitor. Gaslighters are often very intelligent, says Connecticut-based psychotherapist Dori Gatter, PsyD.
A gaslighter believes their own lies and is insistent upon them which makes the person question themselves.
Gaslighting in the Workplace
Gaslighters are often very smart, concurred Connecticut-based psychotherapist Dori Gatter, PsyD.
The term “gaslighting” originates in a British play-turned film from the 1930s. The play was called “Gas Light” and the plot is about a husband who mentally and emotionally manipulates his wife into believing she is crazy by changing the intensity of the gas lamps within their home.
Highly sensitive people and empaths are more susceptible to gaslighting because they do not trust themselves and their intuitions. They doubt their own perspective even when they sense that something is wrong.
They will gaslight
This tactic, also known as “crazymaking,” is instinctively used by psychopaths and narcissists to control and manipulate others. Gaslighting leaves people feeling worn down, confused, ganged up on and defenseless; an unstable person is easier to control.
If the gaslighter is willing to be honest with themselves and do the hard work of changing how they interact it's possible to change this behavior. However, if they're unwilling to recognize the pattern then the pattern is unlikely to change.
Being a perpetrator of gaslighting is treated seriously by authorities and may soon be considered a crime in parts of Australia. Gaslighting is an aspect of coercive control, which is set to be outlawed in NSW and QLD, with other states likely to follow suit.
While some gaslighters are very aware that they are putting their behavior on someone else to get what they want, some who are projecting are not aware that they are doing it. In either case, projection is an unhealthy behavior and should not be tolerated. Some gaslighters unconsciously project out of guilt or shame.
They do apologize—but those apologies are conditional.
Gaslighters are masters of the "conditional apology." You know, when someone says, "I'm sorry you feel that way." That's not an apology; the other person is not taking responsibility for his behavior.
Reasons Why a Narcissist Might Gaslight Someone
They may also do it to boost their ego or to make themselves feel better. They are insecure or have low self-esteem. They may also gaslight as a way to manipulate, hurt, or gain power or control over someone.
they may contradict everything you said and cherry-pick the facts to support their viewpoint and undermine yours. A favorite trick of gaslighters is to focus on your tone of voice or the words you use rather than the facts of the situation. They may accuse you of being "angry" or "negative."
“Gaslighters have two signature moves,” she wrote. “They lie with the intent of creating a false reality, and they cut off their victims socially.” They spread gossip, they take credit for other people's work, and they undercut others in furtherance of their own position.
“Gaslighters are often narcissists and need a constant supply of attention. However, even if you devote 100 percent of yourself to loving and taking care of them, it will never be enough. They will make you feel like you will never be good enough for them,” Sarkis says.
Lying and denial. Lying in gaslighting is intended to make the victim not believe their senses and to doubt themselves. Gaslighters are pathological liars who never back down or change their stories. Even when challenged with proof of their lying, they still plough on and their denials can be very convincing.
There are four primary types of gaslighting behaviors: the straight-up lie, reality manipulation, scapegoating and coercion. Last week we looked at the straight-up lie and reality manipulation. This week we are going to focus on scapegoating and coercion.