When adults demonstrate bold emotions, they may be perceived as child-like. The cliche that intelligent people are emotionally immature may be more false than true because research does show that emotional intelligence is associated with academic achievement and academic achievement is an indication of intelligence.
Think of emotional intelligence as the understanding of emotions, while emotional maturity is the act of applying that knowledge. Author Daniel Goleman, who has written books focused on EI, wrote in the New York Times that these two skills make people a “different kind of smart.”
While generally having a high IQ is associated with a high EQ, this is not always the case. Being in tune with your emotional state is extremely important for your wellbeing.
Emotionally immature people lack certain emotional and social skills and have trouble relating to other adults. Some behaviors can be a signal that you're dealing with an emotionally immature person: Impulsive behavior. Children are often impulsive.
Emotionally intelligent people are willing to accept other people's bad moods and difficult emotions just as they do their own. They acknowledge and validate other people's feelings without trying to make them go away or distract from them.
Listening To Others—With Understanding and Empathy
Some psychologists believe that the ability to listen to another person, to empathize with, and to understand their point of view is one of the highest forms of intelligent behavior.
Emotional immaturity can be the result of insecure attachments during early life experiences, trauma, untreated addiction or mental health problems, and/or lack of deeper introspection or work on oneself. It can manifest as self-centeredness, narcissism, and poor management of conflict.
They Do Not Empathize – An emotionally immature person does not empathize with others' emotions and feelings and may seem self-centered. It is about fulfilling their needs, and they seldom apologize for hurting people with their actions or words.
The Root Cause
More often than not, emotional immaturity arises because of either: An inability to communicate with others, which leaves them feeling misunderstood. A lack of self-control, and an inability to control their emotions. An inability to read a room or situation, which leaves them acting inappropriately.
Lower than average scores on IQ tests. Difficulties talking or talking late. Having problems remembering things. Inability to connect actions with consequences.
A recent study out of the University of California, Berkeley shows that our EQ generally rises steadily throughout our working lives, peaking at the mature age of 60.
IQ is used to determine academic abilities and identify individuals with off-the-chart intelligence or mental challenges. EQ is a better indicator of success in the workplace and is used to identify leaders, good team players, and people who best work by themselves.
Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Emotional intelligence is distinct from IQ. “Your EQ is the level of your ability to understand other people, what motivates them and how to work cooperatively with them,” Harvard education professor Howard Gardner explains. In some ways, EQ is far more important and valuable than IQ.
While emotional immaturity isn't always a sign of a mental health disorder, it has been associated with narcissistic personality disorder and emotionally abusive tendencies. That being said, it is not always the case that an emotionally immature person is either a narcissist or abusive.
A person with BPD may appear to be emotionally immature because they often expect others to put their needs first. They're frequently emotionally dependent on others and may appear to be trying to manipulate others to give them their way by inappropriate emotional reactions or acting out.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is associated with an assortment of characteristics that undermine interpersonal functioning. A lack of empathy is often cited as the primary distinguishing feature of NPD.
When you're emotionally intelligent, you understand yourself at a deeper level. That means recognizing both your strengths and your weaknesses. You're confident about what you contribute and where you need help from others. You're also in tune with your emotions.
When trauma impairs your ability to develop full emotional maturity, this is known as arrested psychological development. Trauma can “freeze” your emotional response at the age you experienced it. When you feel or act emotionally younger than your actual age, this is known as age regression.
Let us go back to the four core features of behaviour that characterise intelligence, namely generality, flexibility, goal-directedness and adaptivity.