There are a lot of crossovers between the two. All narcissists are emotionally immature, but not all emotionally immature people qualify with the full traits of NPD. The truth remains, many emotionally immature parents share similar personality traits to those of the narcissistic parent.
While emotional immaturity isn't always a sign of a mental health disorder, it has been associated with narcissistic personality disorder and emotionally abusive tendencies. That being said, it is not always the case that an emotionally immature person is either a narcissist or abusive.
Many emotionally immature parents don't “evolve” past their own childlike needs and self-centeredness, often because they themselves were abused or neglected in their childhood.
As previously stated, children raised by emotionally immature parents often develop coping mechanisms, self-defeating mentalities and behavioral issues that carry into adulthood. Some of these include: Prioritizing other people's needs over their own. Overreacting to stress, conflict or unexpected events.
They are rigid and always right. Like children, immature parents are rigid, single-minded, and have simplistic views of the world. It is impossible for them to change their minds once they have formed an opinion. Criticism or different opinions can make them very defensive and emotional.
According to psychologist Lindsay Gibson, the two important ways children cope with emotionally immature parents is by imagining 'healing fantasies' and creating a 'role-self'.
The Narcissistic Type of Emotionally Immature Parents
Depending on the severity of their narcissism they can also manipulate and directly harm their children in the process. These parents will make decisions and engage in actions that do damage to their kids not because they are unaware, but because they do not care.
You may have been parentified as a child if you: Assumed household duties such as cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, or paying the bills. Took care of the needs of younger siblings or relatives because your parents were unable to do so.
Examples of emotional neglect may include: lack of emotional support during difficult times or illness. withholding or not showing affection, even when requested. exposure to domestic violence and other types of abuse.
Parentification can be a form of parental neglect or abuse, particularly in extreme cases. This can result in what's known as relational trauma. Relational trauma occurs in childhood when the bonds between parent and child are somehow disrupted or broken.
Everyone needs a deep sense of connection in order to feel fully secure, and there's nothing weak about it. Emotional immaturity in parents guarantees that their children will experience significant emotional neglect.
They Do Not Empathize – An emotionally immature person does not empathize with others' emotions and feelings and may seem self-centered. It is about fulfilling their needs, and they seldom apologize for hurting people with their actions or words.
According to Thomaes & Brummelman, the development of narcissism begins at around the ages of 7 or 8.
The opposite of a narcissist is someone who has a healthy level of self-esteem, empathy for others, and humility. This type of person may be called an empath, altruist, or echoist. Unlike narcissism, echoism isn't a personality disorder.
If you are a parent who is prone to intense mood fluctuations more frequently than others such that it makes your child “walk on eggshells” around you, and if you are a parent who is emotionally unpredictable to an extent that your child feels responsible for taking care of you out of guilt, the term “eggshell parents” ...
As voiced by many on TikTok, the syndrome can impair eldest daughters' wellbeing and “steal” their childhood as they are rushed into assuming a disproportionate amount of adult responsibilities – also known as parentification.
Because parentified children often do not learn healthy boundaries and attachment, many have difficulties in their relationships as adults. They may have trouble trusting others or have an inappropriate sense of entitlement or authority” (Armas, 2022; Lewis, 2021; Newport, 2019).
There is a strong connection between narcissistic or emotionally unstable parenting and complex trauma (C-PTSD). In other words, adults with complex trauma often have parents with narcissistic qualities or significant emotional limitations.
An emotionally abusive parent will use manipulation tactics such as the silent treatment, gaslighting, and triangulation to produce chaos and confusion within the family. It further allows parents to maintain control and meet their own needs.
Recent researches has also shown that children who have experienced PA exhibit common mental health problem including depression, anxiety, low-self-esteem, and eating disorders.
Healing fantasies
Children of emotionally immature parents create a healing fantasy that is like 'coming up with a fantasy about how they will eventually get what they need. ' They create a story that helps them make sense of their world, who they are, and what life means to them.
The risks of eggshell parenting
Hindell says eggshell parenting can lead to long-term difficulties for children, including: Anxiety. Depression. Unstable moods.
Being with or being involved with an emotionally immature person can be challenging. It can even lead the person to question their own sense of self or revert to regressive behaviours. In more complex situations, the other person in the relationship may develop mental health problems such as anxiety or depression.