Although researchers have largely debunked the myth that autistic people tend not to be interested in romantic relationships, they have found that autistic people are more likely than neurotypical people to be single.
About 35% of autistic people are married, though such figures don't always take into account people that aren't diagnosed or have received a potential misdiagnosis.
Nevertheless, autistic adults may need to hurdle far more obstacles than their neurotypical peers to thrive in a world of dating. Some autistic adults go through their entire adult life without having much interest in romance or dating, while others are very interested and actively pursue romantic relationships.
Romantic relationships can be difficult to maneuver when you're dating on the autism spectrum. Romantic relationships are complex and confusing for neurotypical people. But, for autistic people, romantic relationships are even more complex and confusing. Many people with autism crave intimacy and love.
In a study done by Toronto's Redpath Centre , just 32.1 percent of people with autism had had a partner and only 9 percent were married.
Autistic people's difficulty with expressing emotions can make relationships difficult for them to navigate. Although people with autism have the same feelings as everyone else, their feelings can be more intense than those neurotypical people express.
People with autism tend to be reliable and loyal employees. According to research conducted by The National Autistic Society, individuals with autism tend to be conscientious and are often very committed to their work. The research also found that these workers are punctual, honest and reliable.
Research has found that autistic people are equally interested in romantic relationships as neurotypical people. They just tend to have a slightly harder time knowing how to navigate dating and interpreting social cues, particularly at the start of the relationship.
These traits can include anything from jealousy to anger issues to anxiety — anything that seems to be getting in the way of a satisfying relationship. Again, this doesn't just apply to the autistic person in the relationship. Both people should be willing to admit when their own traits and habits are a problem.
One concept that alludes many autistics is flirting. It is a challenge because they're often very literal. When someone is flirting, they do or say things, that in a literal sense, don't make sense. This non-literal behavior can be very challenging for neurodiverse adults to understand.
People with autism often experience love differently from neurotypical people. Their expression of love is less straightforward, as they tend to rely heavily on non-verbal communication. This can mean that those who are neurotypical may find it difficult to interpret the signs of affection.
Love and affection may be felt but expressed differently
They may show love, for example, through a practical act, and tidy up for you, or iron your shirt, rather than through a more neurotypical way of looking at you and telling you or using physical affection.
Freedman's counseled families tell him they feel it's two hits at once: a child with autism and the doom of future divorce (in context of the 80 percent divorce rate figure.) Another study addresses marital longevity by looking at couples with ASD children over longer periods of time.
Evidence for autism being subject to assortative mating comes from a study by Nordsletten et al. which reported that a person diagnosed with autism is 10–12 times more likely to marry or have a child with another autistic person than is someone without such a diagnosis.
Nearly half of adults with autism live with a family member and about one in five is unemployed, according to a new analysis1. Only 5 percent have ever been married. The findings suggest that many middle-aged adults with autism have little independence.
Widespread stereotypes suggest that people with autism are incapable of feeling romantic love. In reality, people with autism can experience romantic love and often attach considerable value to their close relationships.
Some people with autism may have the ability to sense emotional needs in someone else, even if they are not outwardly visible. In such cases, they may show love by doing something, rather than saying something, in unique ways.
Autistic teenagers develop romantic feelings just as other children the same age do. Visual supports and social stories can help autistic teenagers recognise attraction and negotiate romantic relationships.
The pressure to date causes many individuals with autism to move too fast in relationships. Sometimes, the pressure to date causes neurodiverse individuals to enter into relationships too quickly and not fully vet the partner they are dating.
Individuals with autism can also have an aversion to touch. Touch can cause a lack of emotional response or may even cause emotional stress and turmoil. Touch aversion in autism can feel uncomfortable for friends and family who are unfamiliar with this common response.
Autistic individuals may have problems communicating sexual needs which can cause issues in intimate relationships. They may seek to satisfy these needs on their own, rather than communicate them with their partner. In turn, this can result in hurt feelings.
While some people with autism merely yell or stamp, many really do become overwhelmed by their own emotions. 3 Bolting, hitting, self-abuse, crying, and screaming are all possibilities. These can be particularly frightening—and even dangerous—when the autistic individual is physically large.